So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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