16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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