his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
