I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
