my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize