The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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