And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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