omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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