I think I won the penis lottery.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
