I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
