piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
