Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Randomize
