sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
