Tell her she can't have a vagina
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
