I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
