Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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