I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
