I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
