i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
