I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
