I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
