The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
