What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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