The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You were trust falling into bushes
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
