Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
