Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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