You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
