It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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