ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
