Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
