i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
