We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
