im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
