So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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