Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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