i just google imaged poop.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
