I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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