Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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