I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
