just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
