I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
