Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
sex in a hospital.. check
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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