he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize