I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
