I can't watch pbs sober anymore
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
