Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
