Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
