Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
