I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I need water and some morals
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
