Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
