Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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