I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
