i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
