the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
