i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
