belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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