just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
3 2 1 whiskey
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
