Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize